Have you ever been hit with a tidal wave of gratitude? This evening I was washing dishes when it happened to me. I had to sit down. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I wanted to talk to friends I haven’t spoken to in weeks, months or even years. I wanted to call and thank every teacher I ever had. Some of the best teachers I ever had weren’t even teachers by trade. It is so random the places we receive our education. I wanted to hug my daughter, find some swings and push her until she got tired of it; which would be sometime next week. I wanted to watch a Disney animated movie made before 1995 and sing along to all of the songs. I wanted to go to Baskin Robin’s with my parents and taste 19 flavors before I settled on gold medal ribbon which is what I got every single time. I wanted to jump in the ball bit at a MacDonald’s without fear of hepatitis. I wanted nothing other than the feeling that I was having at that moment and I also wanted it to end because it was somehow so intense it was hard to breath.
If it hasn’t happened to you then it may sound a bit strange but if you have ever experienced it then you know what I am talking about and just how powerful of a sensation it can be. It comes out of nowhere sometimes. It is almost painful but it is so wonderful.
It creates a perspective that is mind numbing in its clarity of vision. What obstacle in my life that seems insurmountable is just a story of triumph waiting to happen? What person do I want to punch today that I am going to hug tomorrow? This journey that we are on seems so complicated when we are in the middle of a given stage and so magnificently orderly in hindsight. Looking it back it is so easy to say “of course it was supposed to be that way.” I wish there was some way to maintain that sensation throughout every day. In these moments of gratitude nothing seems out of order. Work is still challenging, calling my insurance company is still a pain, there aren’t enough new episodes of Arrested Development but then again all of those things are somehow just as they should be.
Everyone at XCF is doing just the thing they are supposed to be doing to make that place everything that it is supposed to be right now. This is not to say that we aren’t going to be different tomorrow but whatever you brought today was just the thing we needed.
P.S. Goodbye to Giri who is moving to California to continue his fitness journey as well as his evasion of immigration services. Thanks for throwing down with us and it has been awesome to watch you get jacked. You were already tan so you could focus your energy on weightlifting.