Hyper-local celebrity guest blogger

JHoUncategorized8 Comments

Driving home Saturday from the Rainier Strongman competition it occurred to me that I wanted to write this week’s blog post.  As much as Jordan may like to talk about himself, a post about him, written by him, would simply be too much- even for Jordan…  And unless you were amongst the HUGE group of XCF faithful (Donkey & Lina) that showed up to watch the contest and learn that “the Greeks invented wrestling” (-GT), you wouldn’t quite get it.

Conversation on the way down to Rainier CrossFit went something like this (GT asleep in the back):

JHo: “How did you sleep last night?”

KD: “Slept great.  And you?”

JHo: “Slept crappy.  I always get nervous before competitions.”

KD: “Guess I didn’t have any expectations so it was easy for me.”

JHo: “I always want to win.”

Expecting to win, in a field littered with top Regional competitors and even a handful of Games athletes is a pretty tall order.  Only later would I learn the nervous part had more to do with him wanting GT and I to do well as it did his own personal jitters about winning.  As GT or I were about to start an event, Jordan had this look on his face as if his daughter, Charlotte, was learning to ride a bike without training wheels.

Event 1 was a farmer’s carry (220 lbs in each hand) for 100 feet with 10 x 30” box jumps at each end for 3 rounds.  Guys in the early heats were all over the map; strong guys that had no problem with the weight but struggled dearly with ‘Games Standard’ box jumps and other guys who could no doubt box jump all day but that would struggle to get on the box.  Jordan, in a very methodical and steady pace, stuck to his game plan and finished 2nd in the event- just three seconds shy of 1st.

Event 2 was a clean & jerk/ dead lift ladder over the course of 10 stations, each with increasing weight.  You had 20 seconds to lift the weight then 10 seconds to move to the next one and start all over.  However, the dead lifts would be with an axle bar and the clean & jerks would be with a various heavy objects; a circus dumbbell, an axle bar (super awkward), and a series of logs- which was a bit awkward for some of the competitors.  Jordan made the entire medley look like pvc pipe and tied for 1st in the event.

Event 3 was by far the most entertaining (and the one from which I’m still bleeding this week).  30 double unders/ 3 Atlas stone loads/ 3 muscle ups for a 7:00 AMRAP.  Imagine your typical strong-man doing double unders, your typical CrossFitter lifting 240 lb stones and imagine anyone doing a series of muscle ups after managing the first two stations.   Some guys literally stared at the stones and the rings not quite able to get a single rep.  Jordan, after losing part of his finger under a stone – and taking a ‘break’ to tape it back on- managed to take 3rd in the event.  When it was all said and done, Jordan had won the 6th Rainier Strongman title and represented the gym in a way we can all be proud of.

If any of you manage to make your way to the South end I highly encourage you to drop into Rainier CrossFit.  The owners, Kurtis & Laurie, and all the members down there are incredibly gracious hosts.  Kurtis & Laurie’s son has Fragile X Syndrome and all proceeds from the event go to benefit FRAXA, the Fragile X Research Foundation.  I hope to see more of you down there next year when Jordan tries to defend his title.


Pictures from the event are on the Facebook brought to you  by D5 productions. D5 also does wedding and bar mitzvahs. Call for pricing 530-220-5747.

8 Comments on “Hyper-local celebrity guest blogger”

  1. Great recap! Super proud of all three of you, but especially you and George for lifting some serious weight that you weren’t sure you could do. I wish I had better documentation of your clean and jerk that almost killed spectators.

    1. That was an amazing clean and jerk. I was so scared for so many people and I in the split second where I though someone was going to die I thought how bad this was going to be for business.

  2. This competition really opened my eyes. I thought I was ready to compete but my ego pretty much got bitch slapped. Doesn’t matter how good looking I am or how well I fit my speedo for the babes during the summertime. It doesn’t matter how my mustache intimidates or how it attracts females, like Ted to fried rice and general tso’s chicken, it just doesn’t matter. And it really doesn’t matter how many notches you have on your belt, there will always be somebody bigger, faster stronger then you, and when you realize it like I did, you fuck you back up. You wanna dance you got to pay the band. I was freak dancing getting my swag on and once the music stopped, I checked my pockets and had lint and some bottle caps from the booze I’d been drinking. Thought I had it, but for every hot woman out there, there’s a guy who’s tired of…holding her hand, that doesn’t really relate to my point, but it should be said. To get jacked you got to remember to tan, everyone looks better with a tan, you can’t just do some laundry and bench press.

  3. I’m pretty sure there aren’t any Koslowskys in China, but if we need to fill in the male asian demographic at XCF I’ll do my part.

  4. Nice work, guys!

    More of the XCF faithful might have showed up if there was some kind of announcement or notification … like a blog post … or if there was some kind of large vertical writing service everyone at XCF looked at every day, maybe at the gym, that upcoming competitions could be written on. Maybe we should look in to that.

  5. Nice write up KD. I love the juxtaposition (that’s right) between congratulating JHo and making fun of the Greek. Nicely done.

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