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paige misty

I was in an elevator the other day and a couple gets on the elevator and they are clearly having way more fun than me. I am going to conservatively say these folks were 80 years old. They were laughing and affectionate and I rightly assumed that they were married. I have found marriage to be the first, second, and sixth most challenging thing I have ever down so I am almost always down to glean some wisdom from folks who are way further down the path than I am. I figured these guys have been at it for twice as long as I have been alive so I am going to learn something incredible. I started a conversation with the dude (80 year old men loved being called dude btw) (they also love when you say “btw” by the way). (I don’t know if I am using parenthesis correctly here) Anyhow as we de-elevate I ask them how long they have been married. They said a little over a year. I was caught off guard by that and even more so by the follow up statement that they met e-harmony.com.  An avalanche of questions popped into my head at this point but we parted ways at the corner so I was left to reflect on the two surprises in as few minutes.  A line from a book I was reading today was “if you don’t laugh at fate then you don’t understand it” reminded me of that interchange. Our lives seem so random at times that it can make the hard parts seem meaningless and the good parts seem like luck. I think it is all adding up to something and sometimes it may take awhile before that something is apparent. In all likelihood those folks had been married before but what if she had waited 80 years for Mr. Right and then finally found him online through a dating service? That is a lot of years before parts of the puzzle become clear. If she were living her life for that particular moment than it would have been quite hard. What if instead she lived each day, for that day, guided by her highest values taking each occurrence as it came and making the most of it in those moments?

In the gym we are on a long term mission. We are pursuing an objective that is lifelong. I want you to be fully present for each milestone and only use the those lofty goals on the horizon and compass points and not daily metrics for success. I know you want abs all over your body like Kai. I do too. But today lets do everything we can to move toward that distant horizon on which our goals lie and be satisfied with the outcome regardless of what it is? Today is just one brick in the wall of the grand cathedral we are building and it would be foolish to say that because this one brick isn’t perfect then the whole building is going to fall down.

2 Comments on “e-harmonic”

  1. Most marriages end in divorce because of a lack of communication and expectations BEFORE getting married. Once you’re married it’s important to understand whether the work you are putting in is actually rewarding. When people talk about marriage being challenging, it typically means they’re unhappy and don’t have their partner that compliments them, builds them up, and makes them a better person.

    When you contrast that with CrossFit/exercise people talk about the challenges being rewarding and how much fun they’re having. Understand the difference and whether it’s time to cut your losses.

    1. heavy stuff for your first comment to the xcf blog. I agree in part with the unclear expectations piece. Whether folks are unhappy amidst challenge or unhappy because of challenge I can’t really say. I have been coaching long enough to know that many folks aren’t having fun when they train but the expectation and appreciation of the rewards is a sufficient motivator. If fun were the only metric by which we determined which challenges would make a life full and rich then I think we would find ourselves much weaker and less fulfilled. I will check in with you

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